Where am I going?
What am I doing with my life?
These are the questions that I ask as I sit alone in my room, listening to music and watching YouTube videos about Australian Consumer Law.
Since when I have I gotten so philosophical?
I feel so depressing when I write things online...Where does the over-enthusiastic side of me go when I feel sad?
Does it disappear, leaving me to my misery or is it simply dulled in comparison to circumstance?
Why is life so unfair?
Why do bad things happen to good people?
I know people who have cancer and they have never beaten people up or been a rowdy mess when people have done nothing wrong.
Newton said that every force has an equal and opposite reaction, but where is it when the bad things are happening?
What is the silver lining of cancer?
Does everything everything really have a silver lining, or is that just what we say to make ourselves feel better?
(Why can I only ask these questions anonymously on the internet?)
Friday, 30 May 2014
Saturday, 17 May 2014
The cold hard shock of reality like icy water in the morning.
When you first get to High School, it's all very exciting. I mean - moving from classroom to classroom? Getting different teachers? Fancy timetables?
That didn't last too long.
I am now in grade 10 and let me tell you now that High School isn't all it's chalked up to be.
I have never had a boyfriend. I haven't gracefully run into the perfect guy as I've dropped all my books and he helps me.
I trip over my own disgusting brown leather school shoes easily enough, and my friends are the only ones who help me.
You don't have problems about the centre lunch table and who's captain of the football team because in Australia, you don't have a cafeteria or a football team as such.
No-one calls you "loser" but that's only because they sure as hell won't talk to you.
You don't get drunk at a party and confess your undying love for your crush because you sit in the corner, suffering through the minutes by drinking lemonade with a fork.
Suddenly even the sweet arty girls notice you're weird.
Your only solace is finding joy in fictional worlds where shit happens, but everything turns out alright in the end.
You dream of joining them, but they're so far away. You just have to be content with admiring them from the outside looking in. A passive bystander, a silent watcher.
You want to be special. You want to be a hero. You want to be noticed for something fantastic that you've done.
Back to the books bitch. Failing High School is not an option.
That didn't last too long.
I am now in grade 10 and let me tell you now that High School isn't all it's chalked up to be.
I have never had a boyfriend. I haven't gracefully run into the perfect guy as I've dropped all my books and he helps me.
I trip over my own disgusting brown leather school shoes easily enough, and my friends are the only ones who help me.
You don't have problems about the centre lunch table and who's captain of the football team because in Australia, you don't have a cafeteria or a football team as such.
No-one calls you "loser" but that's only because they sure as hell won't talk to you.
You don't get drunk at a party and confess your undying love for your crush because you sit in the corner, suffering through the minutes by drinking lemonade with a fork.
Suddenly even the sweet arty girls notice you're weird.
Your only solace is finding joy in fictional worlds where shit happens, but everything turns out alright in the end.
You dream of joining them, but they're so far away. You just have to be content with admiring them from the outside looking in. A passive bystander, a silent watcher.
You want to be special. You want to be a hero. You want to be noticed for something fantastic that you've done.
Back to the books bitch. Failing High School is not an option.
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